June 2nd, 2026
I've taken a long break from the things I used to do. Starting games again, starting writing about games again. I'm reading comic books, book books. I'm cooking meals and I'm thinking hard about food again. There are so many things this website could be used for. So many possibilities. Part of it is that I should just write. I need to just write stuff and put it up here. Fill the damn website with articles, junk, bullshit, and archive everything I make. That's a fantasy. There is no way that I could sit with reckless abandon and just upload whatever I have in its raw states, in unfinished or unpolished forms. However, one cannot divide by 2 and reach zero. One will never arrive at the point at which they intend. You simply must do. You simply must do and decide when it is time. There are all these things that I feel like I use to structure myself into doing these things. I tried YouTube video essays, something I still can see myself doing, although certainly far, far away from the expectations and patterns of that platform. I want to just write, so I simply must. I tell myself that I need to try to write a smaller article once a month. It is a good goal to write smaller. I think about how Big Joel, the youtuber, utilized his side channel, little Joel. He wanted to make one small video a day, to get back into a sense of originality and to refresh the sorts of topics he considered to be "worth covering". In the end, however, this was marked by burnout once again, albeit transmuted into a new form. The guardrails that are supposed to lead you into the process become the obligations that take you out of it, eventually. That's why old people said variety is the spice of life, I guess. Anyways, I'm going to try to do more writing for me, whether that's in this livejouurnal format or something more properly formatted. Regardless, I'm trying to reduce the scope, trying to write more, more concisely, and more oftenly. -Bella